Okay people, tell 'em if you've got 'em. Jokes that is. I've collected anecdotes & colorful jokes from my medeval days but so far in seven years I've only gotten one measly civil war joke! There've got to be more out there, I just haven't heard them. So please share if you have a good one. And remember to censor any naughty stuff. Thanks~Miss Patti
Civil War Jokes
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jokes
Ok Pattie like do ya know why the possum crossed the road? To prove to the chicken it could be done. Ok I admit it after years and years of reenacting hate to tell ya how long but I can remember my father hauling butt to Gettysburg for the 100th. I do not know one not even on dammmmmn blasted civil war joke what is up with that. Ok you men of Maine and others who have joined us please oh please do not let Pattie down please come up with jokes I want to hear them also. All is well that ends well CopperHeadAnnie
Jokes
here is a few that I have found on the web at
KINDNESS... Treated kindly, a soldier responds with kindness. Treated kindly, a citizen responds with treason.
PATROTIC... Many soldiers enlisted because they thought it was their duty, others joined for the bounty and others joined to impress their girlfriends. Many of the married women also encouraged their men to go to war. One of these men, while bidding his wife good bye whimpered a little and showed signs of back out. His wife told him that if he was going to cry about it, to pull off his britches and she'd go in his place and he can stay home and run the farm.
Pvt/Lt Craig Young
3rd Maine, company A
"I ain't as good as I once was. But I'm as good once as I ever was. I used to be Hell on wheels Back when I was younger man. Now my body says 'You can't do this boy' But my pride says 'Oh, yes you can."
My favorite
Two privates are discussing how inedible the hardtack is, one says "Say Bill, I hear the first sergent of A company bit into his hardtack yesterday and hit something soft. You know what it turned out to be?
The other fellow replies "I reckon it was a worm."
The first fellow replies "Naw, it was a ten penny nail!!"
Keep taking your blue mass!!
Asst. Surg. SD Scroggins
Disentangle...
Ok, maybe this is not quite what you had in mind but I mentioned it at Norlands and this reminded me to post it.
p. 344-345
The Civil War in Song & Story
by Frank Moore
P. F. Collier, Publisher [1889]
--
Michael Johnson
You might be a confederate...
If you have been quoted in the Harper's Bizarre more than once as to what the cannons sounded like...You MIGHT be a Confederate.
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind~Dr. Seuss
Yankeeeeeeeeeeee
ok Patti If you every had stolen silver spoons fall out of your dress blues while at dress inspection You just may be a Yankeeeeeeeeeeee
Okay Annie
If you've ever worn a chamber pot as a hat while in Louisiana,
You MIGHT be a Yankee.
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind~Dr. Seuss
How about this
If your momma doesn't take the corncob pipe out of her teeth before telling Sherman to kiss her gritts, you MIGHT be a confederate.
CopperHeadAnnie
Gen. Lee
If you have a velvet painting of General Lee in your Parlor...you might be a Confederate.
If you know Jack Daniels personally...you are a Confederate.
My limit on jokes for now.
Will
jokes
Men of the 20th Maine hear this.............if your after action report of Gettysburg includes the phrase " General we could have taken that thar goll durn hill............. Then with out a doubt you ARE a Confederate
Yoo Hoo 29th Boys
If your haversack contains twinkies or a hot hoagie sandwich,
You MIGHT be a Confederare re-enactor.
~Miss Patti (who loves her boys no matter what)
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind~Dr. Seuss
19th Century Slang
How about:
19th Century Slang Dictionary
Compiled & Edited by Craig Hadley
Humbug? Shecoonery? Useless truck or gum? Hornswoggling? Honey-fuggling? Not in this book, dear sir! I swan to mercy, a huckle- berry above anyone's persimmon. Some pumpkins, a caution, 100 percent certified by a Philadelfy lawyer. If not, dad-blame it, I'll hang up my fiddle, and you can sass me, knock me into a cocked hat, give me jesse, fix my flint, settle my hash, ride me out on a rail and have a conniption fit, you cussed scalawag. Now ain't that the beatingest language you ever did hear? Sure beats the Dutch! Pshaw! Do tell! Bully for you!
Pvt/Lt Craig Young
3rd Maine, company A
"I ain't as good as I once was. But I'm as good once as I ever was. I used to be Hell on wheels Back when I was younger man. Now my body says 'You can't do this boy' But my pride says 'Oh, yes you can."
Okay Yankee Pants, How's about this...
If you've ever stubbed your toe & yelled
"YANKEE FIFER!!!"
You might be a Confederate
Pshaw~Miss Patti
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind~Dr. Seuss
-If you say "I go both ways"
-If you say "I go both ways" and it means you will wear blue or gray you might be a Civil War Reenactor.
-If you spent more money on your uniform than all of your modern wardrobe you might be a reenactor.
-If you are a grown man that sets a tent up in the back yard and spends the night in it you might be a reenactor.
-If you can recognize the sound of a porta john door slamming you might be a reenactor.
Lt. Jason Porter
29th Georgia Volunteer Infantry
ferinus vis quod ignarus
Ok, I'll try one...
If you enjoy getting together with your guy friends,talking about cloths, dressing up in your finest outfit and going shopping, then you might be a reenactor.
--
Michael Johnson
Oh gee I love you guys
How about a straight joke...
General Sherman's marching his men through a Georgia valley when up on the mountain side he catches sight of a lone Confederate soldier.
"Whooeee Sherman! Is it true you're too cheap to smoke good Virginny tobbaccy & role mule muffins instead?"
"Colonel!" barks Sherman "Send a platoon up there & get that reb!"
So the patrol marches up the hillside & soon theres a crashing & shooting & screaming. Then 10 minutes later the same Confederate re-appers on the mountain.
"Whooee Sherman! Is it true you wear your momma's brogans?"
"Colonel!" barks Sherman "Send a company up there & get that REB!"
So the company marches up the hillside & there's a crashing & shooting & yelling that goes on the rest of the day. Then as the sun is setting that same Confederate re-appears on the mountaintop.
"Whooeee Sherman! Is that your hair or are you wearing a dead posssum as a hat?"
"Colonel!" barks Sherman "Get the regiment up that mountain & GET THAT REB!"
So the colonel leads the entire regiment up to the mountaintop & there's a terrible crashing & shooting & screams for mercy that goes on all night, into the next day, into that night. Then as the dawn is breaking on the 3rd day Sherman sees a scraggly figure come crawling into camp. It's the colonel and as he nears he croaks
"General Sherman! It's a trap! There's TWO of them up there!"
:-)~Miss Patti
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind~Dr. Seuss
jokes
ok Miss Patti If you drive the largest SUV made just so you can fit all ya girlfriends and thier hoop skirts into you truck ......you are a female civil war reenactor.............
A lt was walking the
A lt was walking the trenches and noticed the men were surrounded with hardtack, having told them previously to keep the trenches clean he began to chastise the men, " havent I told you to keep the trenches clean?"
the men replied" sir we have, we keep throwing the hardtack out, but they keep crawling back in......"
Seamus
it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifing......nothing"
MacBeth
Okay Annie!
If you've invested your child's college fund in a new ball gown,
you MUST be a femele re-enactor
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind~Dr. Seuss
You got it wrong way 'round
You got it wrong way 'round it's the chicken crossin the road to show the possum it really could be done!
How many yankees does it take to eat a porcupine?
3 one to eat two to look for traffic!
"Never Apologize, It's a sign of weakness!
Cpt. Nathan Brittles
Pvt. Steve Henry
Co. A, 3rd Maine Volunteer Infantry
"Bath City Greys